The popular view is that in negotiations there is a winner and a loser, like in a sports match. You can only gain something if the other loses it, when you win, the other must lose. The one who wins takes away something from the other. Winning does not mean that the other must lose as this implies that one of the two has to be harmed and that there cannot be rich without poor.
However, this interpretation of the meaning of a negotiation represents an obstacle for new business opportunities. According to this pattern, any method is acceptable: forcing others, playing the role of victim, stealing, and so on.
What’s a win-win negotiation?
Win-win is finding that point which is easy for you and difficult for the other and vice versa and thus satisfying the other’s needs. You win only if the other wins as well; it is to observe a horizon of opportunities connected in order to achieve a sustainable agreement.
Both should have the same level of engagement in order to reach an agreement. Looking out for individual interests and being disconnected from the reality of others leads to failure. Helping others to win (even if they used to be an enemy) is the key to big gains.
You must feel pride and take pleasure in your ability to give things to others. A great person is someone who can give without being desperate for receiving something in return. If there is a desire for a win-win agreement, this shall be the priority and perhaps partial and provisional agreements will alleviate hostility and anxiety. You should avoid the use of an aggressive tone in writing. What you can do is to write the provisional agreements in a positive way to make them clear. Besides, you should be able to let go of some things in the agreement without despair from trying to monopolize everything.
Continue reading: How to deal with an experienced negotiator